That cat could learn quick!
Man alive. Could she...When I'd put on my uniform she'd disappear no matter what room you saw her last in. Deftly darting from furniture to shadow. And there she would wait for my exit from the front door. Sometimes I wouldn't know which way she would be coming.
We didn't want her out because we lived near a road and the citizens get paid for crow's feet and stray cat's tails. And when we moved on base the cops were called on animals that roamed.
But.
This was Lucy. And what Lucy wants, Lucy gets.
After a few weeks of getting out successfully Dawn and I kicked in Operation "Deny Freedom". But, the retribution was just as severe.
Lucy began to attack me and Dawn by luring us in with purrs and rolling around in our laps. Her tactic was very sweet. Up into the lap lolling against the stomach with little purrs. Back and forth across the legs and lifting her face into yours. Sometimes even rubbing her nose against yours. Oh man...it was good. And just when you would be so into it with your eyes closed and just almost laughing at the fuzzy goodness she would bite right into your nose. And I don't mean like a Jaws flesh bite across the bridge. I mean she would sink her teeth into your nostrils at the right point where if you pull back her teeth catch under the edge of your nose. Ouch!
OUCH DAMNIT!
Man, I hated that. And for some reason I never learned.
Oh but that wasn't the most sinister of all her crimes against us during this phase.
This one day while I was at work and Dawn was doing her thang in the apartment. Dawn heared Lucy somewhere in the livingroom let out a loud meow. Out from the office she came to see Lucy standing on the back of the loveseat perched next to the door. Eyes locked in. Demands being made with a stare down.
I forgot to mention recently we had moved our loveseat right next to the front door with this gorgeous clay floor lamp. Cream with a stucco looking finish.
Dawn said "Luuucccyyy" with that sound you give to warn your child a whoopin is eminent.
"MEooowwwW." Lucy warned back. Turning toward the lamp putting her paws against the side, up on her hindlegs.
Dawn said "Lucy!" with shock and proceeded to walk towards the couch for a little "Obey they master!" smack down. But, before Dawn got very far at all Lucy pushed up and rocked the lamp. She pushed harder and thar she blew! right on the tile.
I don't remember what terrible things Dawn did next but by the time I got home the living room looked like the bottom of a pan full of sauce. Pieces of fur and gore all over the couch and floor. I even saw her head. Severed off with a giant piece of a lamp shard.
Well, that's what I was thinking anyway when I walked in the door to see the aftermath looking like a giant cookie, broken pieces all over the places.
That cat was straight up wrong.
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